Beast Putty + Minneapolis: A Match Made in Weird

Minneapolis has a ridiculous street naming system where Northeast streets are named after U.S. Presidents in order—locals use them to prepare for citizenship tests.

We didn't pass the citizenship exam, but Beast Putty passed every stress test.

A Minneapolis city council candidate was indicted for serving Twinkies to elderly voters, sparking the creation of the "Twinkie Law"—democracy's most delicious scandal.

We're not bribing anyone with snacks, just stress relief. Way more ethical.

Minnesota law requires the state Agriculture Commissioner to personally capture any wild boar that escapes in Minneapolis or St. Paul. Yes, really.

We keep stress contained too—Beast Putty is way more reliable than a government employee.

Minnetonka has a law making it illegal to drive a mud-caked vehicle on city roads—your tires must be clean or you're breaking the law.

Our putty won't dirty your hands; it's way less messy than vehicular manslaughter.

Until 2015, nursing homes in Minnesota were legally limited to exactly TWO days of bingo per week, and visitors couldn't play with residents.

We don't limit your stress relief—squish Beast Putty all week long, guilt-free.

Poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote "The Song of Hiawatha" about Minnehaha Falls without ever actually seeing the waterfall in person.

Beast Putty doesn't need to visit to change your life—it works from anywhere.